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By: Rabbi Jo Dunea
The man is an official. Judging from the fact we’re at a church, he’s probably an official church official. Actually he’s even more important, he’s a Church Badger. He is official – no ID, no gun, just attitude. Church Badger: noun; someone who believes they are more important than others, and wears an identifying pin to prove it. eg: \”The Head Church Badger is holier than you.\”
Show Your Badge
Now don’t misunderstand, there’s nothing wrong with the tiny badge itself. Detectives and FBI agents have badges, AND suits because they are real actual officials of the law. They don’t even have to wear the it, just flip it open for ID. Other than the law, there’s a badger hierarchy: sewn-on, push or drive what most of us don’t want to, uniforms and matching hats get a plastic one, a cut-out name version with gold edges and cutout letters (no hat) means you work at a hotel, pin on style with paper name insert is a suit conference, shield-shaped metal badge with only a number – really and truly is important. Did you know judges and Senators get badges? (Don’t ask.)
Churches don’t need badges. Ushers, greeters, deacons, even pastors who wear badges should get hats. What does make sense?
If you’re important you get a magnetic Greeter badge, the Deacon magnet is a step up. Until Newbies graduate and learn the secret handshake they get stabbed with pin backs, and must cower behind a real Magnetic Badger. Be real churches: Peter, James, John – no badge. Paul? Jesus? Nope, and they outrank any deacon. Recognition is no issue, and if you think they should have some fine, give ‘em a Bible with their name engraved, at least it’s something useful, and it doesn’t tarnish.
Wear A Badge If You Greet or Ush or Deac
They seem unnecessary. If get a handshake as you enter, you just got greeted, so they must be a greeter – no badge needed. If you’re a deacon do I really need to know that? And if you’re an usher, you are easily identifiable when the offering plate passes to you when you ush. I’m not truly opposed, just amused. For some churches this is nothing but ranking, stop it.
Police show their badge for ID. Churches should carefully think this one through because it can easily get out of hand. For churches who really feel some folks need to be identified, you can buy every badge imaginable at most Christian bookstores online. Alas, as with most profoundly unnecessary church oddities, no one asked me, but hope the information is helpful. Be Blessed. Godspeed!
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